Society Formed For American Rednecks

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A new society has been formed to help perhaps the largest segment of American society ... rednecks.

According to the organization's website, the American Redneck Society was formed to benefit its members. There are valuable benefits today and additional benefits that will come as our numbers increase. When lots of people join together, their numbers result in buying-power and influence. Imagine the buying power and market-influence of an association whose sole purpose is to represent and benefit the millions of rednecks in this country.


So, who is a redneck? There’s no simple or complete answer to that question. We believe that the creed of the American Redneck Society is a good place to start. American rednecks include hunters (up to 45 million people ), owners of pickup trucks (38 million ), NASCAR racing fans (75 million ) and gun-owners (80 million ).  And, of course, just about anyone will find a “you know you’re a redneck if” joke that applies to them. “Whether they know it or not, these folks represent an incredible economic force, both from the standpoints of productivity and consumer spending. ”

There seem to be associations for just about every group of people ... those over age 50, biologists, accountants, dentists and so on. There’s even an association of associations. Each association is designed to benefit its membership. Yet, there is no credible association of rednecks ... designed to serve the millions and millions of rednecks in this country.

We enjoy much of the “redneck” humor that has become popular among many comedians. As such, rednecks certainly do have a sense of humor. However, rednecks are much more than the punch-line of jokes. An important purpose of the American Redneck Society is to “spit-polish” the image of rednecks.

We aim to shine the light on positive characteristics of the redneck culture. One such characteristic is a love of country and respect for core American values . . . those held by our founding fathers, not liberals in politics and media. For these reasons, the American Redneck Society’s motto is: “sense of country, sense of humor.”

Our primary goal is to build a membership of rednecks based upon valuable member benefits worth much, much more than our modest annual, membership fee.

Ten percent of every membership fee will be set aside in the “Redneck Scholarship Fund” as our way of helping rednecks in need to improve their lot in life by pursuing a college education.

With numbers, the founders of the American Redneck Society will form a political action committee to represent the political interests of its members, a committee that will have no allegiance to any particular party.
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December 18, 2010 at 9:15am
There is only about eight jillion redneck jokes out there but, with Mr Halpern's permission, I start things off with this one:

The Healing Touch

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "my treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once again nodded that it was, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "on my bill."

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back to his legs, got up and danced a jig right out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked up to the Redneck.

The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me... I'm drawin' disability!"

December 18, 2010 at 12:27pm
That's funny daily.
December 20, 2010 at 9:30am
Many identified as a redneck display hatred for others not following their way of thinking. I find many of their jokes degrading. Its one thing to be country born and bread but another to act and talk like backwoodsman with no education.
December 20, 2010 at 9:35am
"... display hatred for others not following their way of thinking."

I don't think that phenomena can be confined only to rednecks.
December 20, 2010 at 4:24pm
You have to remember ewimbush the source of the joke. People with that kind of thought process typically find that type of "joke" comical because they think it classifies and groups particular regions and people into one category.

It is much easier for them to put people down than to build them up. It is much easier for them to complain than to offer solutions. They have the "I tear you down, so I can feel better" complex.

And I thought the joke was kind of stupid as well. Not just because it came from dailyreader / Legion, but mainly because it just wasn't funny.

But, I am sure that will make me obtuse or witless or some other word Legion researches on the internet.
December 21, 2010 at 6:48am
"sense of country, sense of humor"

The ability to laugh at ourselves and at others has been a mainstay of American culture since this nation was formed.

Lincoln was a master of this "sense of humor" and parlayed it into the White House.

Jeff Foxworthy has made millions off Redneck humor. Archie Campbell, Minnie Pearl made it a trademark. so nothing to get upset about when we hear or read Redneck jokes--we need that laugh during these trying times.

Whittle might recall the time the DNJ had a column (he may have written it) on funny sayings of locals, including those from Cannon. One of those was something like this.

Barbershop on the Boro square had it usual gathering of liars and story tellers assembled when the bus from Woodbury unloaded its morning passengers.

All noticed the Southern country girl that got off, all dressed up. One commented "She is all dressed up like a Woodbury bride." I laughed then and still chuckle when I see someone with a little too much on, thinking of that Woodbury bride (my wife's one and even she laughs).

This comment from the article: "respect for core American values . . . those held by our founding fathers, not liberals" makes one wonder if they are referring to the "core values" that kept slavery on for many more decades and set policies that systematically eradicated the Native American from his land and disenfranchised women and white men that did not own property from the political process.

Maybe those "core values" are behind the movement by some to change the 14th Amendment--sounds like it.
December 21, 2010 at 7:06am
Since you seem to have trouble identifying what American values are dailyreader, a refresher course in the Constitution and Declaration of Independence might be in order. Slavery, land grabs and disenfranchisement were left over European values.
December 21, 2010 at 9:01am
Mr. Halpern, "We The People" did not mean all the people, just those "We" the Founding Fathers thought should merit the right to express themselves thru those "core values" they cherished.

Slavery, mostly eradicated in England, women's rights, Indian treatment was part and parcel of the Founding Fathers' "core values" as reflected within the Constitution itself.

You are correct in that the values set forth by those writing the Constitution were influenced greatly by the times, particularly the Enlightenment Period, and are not what we now see as true American "core values" that offer an eqalitarian system to all.

An evolutionary process that came thru the 1860s and then the 1920s, 1960s and with the repeal of the DADT, takes us one more step down that road of equality and justice for all.

The idea of being guided by "Original Intent" is a mistaken one. The original intent of the Founders was at odds with what we have today and to go back in time and try to discern what the Founders meant in the Constitution or in the Federalist Papers can, sometimes, take us down the wrong road.

This is not to say those papers are not important, they are revered documents and should be studied endlessly, but we need to be guided by today and not the 1787 society the Founding Fathers lived in.
December 21, 2010 at 12:03pm
"...we need to be guided by today and not the 1787 society the Founding Fathers lived in."

So 200 or so years from now will we need to be guided by that society, even if it is more reflective of the one in 1787 than the one in 2010?
December 21, 2010 at 1:34pm
Very possible, Mr Halpern. The Constitution is a living document and we can celebrate the legacy left by continuing to strive to form "a more pefect union" not only for this generation but for those to come.

But we won't need to wait 200 years for efforts to be in an attempt to return to some of the "core values" the founders supposedly had or at least what the new members feel those values represented.

With a new Congress ready to step in next year and an election on the horizon, we could see dramatic changes in how this nation will function, and that may well include some restictions of freedoms many enjoy, beginning with some women's rights.

The only point I want to make is that tomorrow's freedoms are going to be very much reflective of the party that controls both houses and appoints the majority of the Court members.

That is why the first ten Amendments were added and the Amendents that followed--they reflect the thinking of the times and not just what was on the minds of those writers of 1787.

Thank you, Mr Halpern, for the opportunity to express myself--a freedom that could be resticted at any given time.
December 21, 2010 at 2:00pm
I find it interesting that dailyreader says "An evolutionary process that came thru the 1860s and then the 1920s, 1960s and with the repeal of the DADT, takes us one more step down that road of equality and justice for all" and then he and others deny the rights and equality for the unborn or the religious sect of our country. It is funny how everyone wants equality until it affects what they don't like.

We are supposed to be tolerant to the homosexual population and the atheist, but we become "rednecks" and "extremists" when people want to deny the religious population the right to say a prayer in a public place or to keep "In God We Trust" on our money. Or God forbid protect the rights of the unborn.

We are supposed to understand that it is cruel and inhumane to have the death penalty for criminals who rape, torture and murder innocent children and totally disregard the oxymoron of that statement. Victims’ rights no longer exist and mixing three chemicals to put the child murderer to death is outrageous! How cruel!

Equality for all is a myth. We are not all equal in man's eyes. Equality for all only exists in God's eyes.

Man chooses to set apart one from another and it has been that way since God created the world and it will always be that way. No matter what law is passed or what law is repealed equality will always be in the eye of the beholder.

Tolerance and acceptance is a two sided coin. You can't preach it and then deny it when you don't like what you see or when it doesn't fit your current state of mind.
December 21, 2010 at 4:16pm
"Thank you, Mr Halpern, for the opportunity to express myself--a freedom that could be resticted at any given time."

Government should only restrict speech under extremely limited and rare circumstances. Private enterprises which provide platforms for expressing speech, such as the owners or newspapers and web sites, have always had the right to restrict speech.
December 21, 2010 at 4:39pm
Mr Halpern, exactly why I thanked you, knowing full well the plug for expressing opinions on the Courier site could be pulled anytime.

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