Darkness To Light Action Days 4 & 5

"When it comes to child abuse, we often think of physical signs such as bruises and broken bones," said Child Advocacy Center Community Education Coordinator Carrie Norvell. "But, when it comes to child sexual abuse, the signs are not always obvious. This is why we have to know what to look for. By knowing the signs, we will be more aware when we see them and we can get children the help that they need."

Although physical signs are not common, there are a few that may indicate sexual abuse. These include redness, rashes, or swelling in the genital area, and sores around the mouth. Some unseen physical symptoms include urinary tract infections and issues associated with chronic anxiety such as headaches, stomach aches, and unexplained fatigue.

The Darkness to Light child sexual abuse prevention training warns us that the more common signs to look for are emotional or behavioral signs. Extreme behavior changes such as unprovoked and disproportionate anger or signs of rebellion are common. The child may also experience nightmares or start wetting the bed after being potty trained. Some children may use sexual terms that are not age appropriate. Other children may start to show a lack of interest in their friends, school, or other activities they enjoyed in the past.

Some children may strive for perfection. Child sexual abuse victims often have low self-esteem and will over-correct by trying to hold themselves to impossible standards to gain back a feeling of control. No matter what they achieve, they will not be satisfied and will continue to doubt themselves and perpetuate the cycle.

The most important information to remember is that some children may not show signs at all. Each child is unique. That is why having open conversations with your children is an important step to stopping child sexual abuse from happening.

We have to pay attention to unexplained behavior changes. A child may be behaving differently as a result of abuse. We need to have a conversation with them to get to the root of the problem. You are likely the person who knows your child best in the world, which means you will probably be the first person to notice these changes.

According to the Darkness to Light child sexual abuse prevention training, "disclosure, discovery, and suspicion of sexual abuse provide opportunities to intervene on behalf of a child." There are a few steps to take if a child discloses sexual abuse to you.

1. Stay calm.

A child discloses abuse to us because they trust us. We need to stay calm and not overreact in the moment. The child needs to know that we are going to listen completely. If you show that you are worried, they may start to worry. If you show sadness, the child may feel like you are not the person they can open up to. We do not want children to feel guilty or ashamed.

2. Offer support.

Let the child know that you believe them and that what happened to them is not their fault. When they disclose to you, you may tell them that they were brave for sharing with you. If they tell you a little bit of their story, you may ask open-ended questions to get more information. We do not want to ask leading questions, because it can unintentionally alter a child's account of the way things happened.

3. Make a report.
   
   If a child discloses abuse to you, you are required by law to make a report. In the state of Tennessee, every adult is a mandatory reporter of child abuse. This means if you have disclosure, discovery, or suspicion of child sexual abuse, you are bound by law to report it to Department of Children's Services or law enforcement. You do not have to know the entire story to make a report. It is not the bystander's job to investigate. Department of Children's Services and law enforcement will conduct an investigation. The Department of Children's Services child abuse reporting hotline number is 1-877-237-0004. If a child is in immediate danger, call 911.

By recognizing the signs and knowing how to react responsibly, we can hold perpetrators accountable for their crimes and help children get the crisis intervention services and support that they need to heal from child sexual abuse.

Want to get more involved?

Contact Amanda Hammond or Carrie Norvell at (615) 563-9915 or ahammond@cannoncac.org or cnorvell@cacrutherford.org to schedule a Darkness to Light child sexual abuse training for your organization or business. Together we can reduce the number of child sexual abuse victims in Cannon County!