Vinson: iPhone takes the cake
Email Print

By MIKE VINSON

We all have heard, or voiced, the old adage, "Well, now, that takes the cake!" Though used metaphorically "taking the cake" means: Someone says or does something so outrageous--way out there--that it leaves those listening/watching shaking their heads in a state of bewilderment and disbelief.

The common wisdom behind the origin of "takes the cake" goes back decades. In the year 2015, where a majority of the population occupies their leisure time incessantly texting, tweeting, and talking on high-tech iPhones, folks back then, 1940s-1960s, would go to social gatherings--held at churches, community centers, etc.--and participate in some kind of kosher game/contest ("cakewalk," for example). The prize awarded the winner was a cake, thus the phrase "taking the cake."

Indeed, I am an advocate for advancements in technology. However, given the near-radical technological advancements made with each tick of the clock, I also harbor the fear that, if not careful, man-kind will high-tech himself out of existence.

When I first heard what I'm about to share with you, I didn't believe it. "No way!" I exclaimed to the fellow who told me this story. However, after some research, and hearing about it on reputable news sources, I'll be dang if it's not a fact.

Matt Bonner, an 11-year veteran in the National Basketball Association/NBA, currently is a member of the San Antonio Spurs. Bonner is known for his long-range shooting ability. For the 2014-2015 season "Bonner shot 36.5 percent from the long range," which is one of his lowest marks in his 11-year NBA career." Using basketball language, fellow players, opponents, and sports analysts said Bonner's "shot was off."

Of course, this resulted in the question, "Why?"

Now, brace yourself, for I am about to reveal to you Matt Bonner's reason for his long-range shot being off during the 2014-2015 season.
A couple weeks back, Bonner told the told the "Concord Monitor" he had tennis elbow in his non-shooting arm, which he blames on the size of the latest model of iPhone6.

Stated Bonner: "Everybody is going to find this hilarious, but here's my theory on how I got it [tennis elbow]," Bonner told the New Hampshire newspaper. "When the new iPhone came out it was way bigger than the last one, and I think because I got that new phone it was a strain to use it, you have to stretch farther to hit the buttons, and I honestly think that's how I ended up developing it."

What next, Bonner spends so much time on his new iPhone that it alters his eyesight and throws off his long-range shot even more? Still, maybe Bonner listens to too many iTunes, via his iPhone, and his hearing capacity is damaged . . . he doesn't hear Spurs all-star guard Tony Parker hollering to Bonner that he/Parker is about to toss a quick pass to Bonner during a fast break in a championship game?!
The Spurs loose the NBA championship, and Matt Bonner's new iPhone is to blame! Spurs' owners and associate attorneys file a lawsuit against the iPhone's corporate office.

Admittedly, the above scenario is a bit tongue-in-cheek. However, let's face facts: Given the "anything goes" dynamics that define our neurotic society, such a scenario is not completely out of the question.

I do, though, agree with Matt Bonner on one thing he said: "Everybody is going to find this hilarious. . . ." Well, I certainly found Matt Bonner blaming his poor long-range shooting on his new iPhone to be "hilarious."

Regarding something so absurd that I shook my head in disbelief, this one definitely "takes the cake"!

Share:

Powered by Bondware
News Publishing Software

The browser you are using is outdated!

You may not be getting all you can out of your browsing experience
and may be open to security risks!

Consider upgrading to the latest version of your browser or choose on below: