By SAVANNAH CUNNICK
Hey Folks, with Memorial Day week-end ahead....there are mini-trips on the rise...only leading up to that forever popular summer vacation with the family.
Well, think about it....summer's almost here...schools are out...and the FUN begins! ....(or does it?)
The kids may be on vacation, but the parents now start thinking about losing their daily freedom and start dreaming up ways to entertain those younger members of the family. Not to mention the added expense of daycare, summer camp and should we REALLY trust those teen-agers at home ALONE while we are still on our schedule AT WORK?
What vacation? Whose vacation? Say What? Oh well, shall we ALL go on vacation? Should we attempt to define vacation? And then, determine is it ACTUALLY a VACATION?
Does TIRED ring a bell? I guess it is depending what you all decide to do for your mutual R&R. The norm is the parents taking turns (maybe turns) driving listening to that madcap affair of ARE WE THERE YETS, I HAVE TO PEE, I'M HUNGRY, BOBBY IS BOTHERING ME, ARE WE THERE YET?
Along with the IRONIC increase in gas prices just before summer vacation, the thought of additional EATING OUT expenses and so forth haunts any good feelings we just might try to muster up before the chaos begins.
Not to mention new tires and a tune-up for the family vehicle necessary for safe travel. Of course, you ALL could FLY....but is it really time for ANOTHER PERSONAL LOAN???
Some of the solutions to avoiding this family vacation nightmare could be: lock yourself in your room and watch the entire sequence of Star Wars and Harry Potter and then Twilight. (Do vampires go on vacations?)
Oh, Heck...it's a tough call...because the kiddies are begging for Dollywood and Disney World. (Well, it just might be fun....beats a family reunion!!)
Wait a minute...anyone consider who will watch the PETS? Hopefully, you have been nice to your neighbors that are trustworthy enough to take on the ongoing chore of feeding an watering the cats and dogs. Birds, turtles, goldfish, snakes and so forth may require a less squeamish friend to administer.
If your bank account only covers camping in the backyard....maybe Day Trips are on the agenda. No problem...make it fun and the kids just may love it.
Thus, our reward for surviving another year at the office may just be as simple as that!!
Uncle Festus normally cannot go on any vacations due to the fact that he owns a dog that is half Lab and half Pit Bull. He can bite off your leg and then bring it back to you. No one will watch him. So, Festus took a mental vacation: He drives to the end of his driveway and drives back to the house. And, he merely pretends that he just ran out of money and can't go any further. (Sounds pretty weird, Festus....why am I surprised?)
My Aunt Anna asked me if I wanted a way to make the little kids behave on a car trip. She said: Take a big bag of candy and anytime they misbehave,
throw a piece of candy out the window.
Most of the time, the parents feel like mummies...afraid to relax and unwind. Even more so, like a robot that needs to recharge it's batteries. Maybe, investing in a really loud stereo system would drown out the screaming kids. Make the trip interesting, so everyone is looking forward to more than viewing the largest ball of twine.
Hey, now CAMPING is another option. Saves on motel room costs. Even tho they say: Campers are nature's way of feeding the mosquitos, do make sure that the kids wear long-sleeved shirts so they have something to wipe their allergy-filled noses on. The experience of walking into spider webs and you suddenly turn into a karate master. Keep in mind that the guitar of a noisy teen-ager makes excellent kindling. If you run out of firewood, just eat Mexican food...then breathe on a pile of dry sticks.
Now, the sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations...the sight of a bald man, however, does nothing for the eagle.
Remember there ARE bears in the woods...bear bells do provide an element of safety for campers in grizzly country. The trick is: GETTING THEM ON THE BEARS !!
You may consider renting an RV. I also know of a book entitled: 15 things you must know when you rent an RV with KIDS. Please read this book FIRST.
Another option: Do we take our mother-in-law with us on vacation? J.D.'s mother-in-law does not appreciate his humorous gifts, like the one last year that was a wooden bench connected to a huge sling shot. That was one of his Freddie Krueger moves and she was not one bit happy with him! His idea of a pleasure trip with her is driving her to the airport. She asked him one time: Do you actually realize that there is a Mother-In-Laws' Day? He answered: Yes, it occurs less than one week before Halloween!
Uncle Pete's joke towards Patsy's mom always tickles Festus: One cannibal says to the other: I can't stand my mother-in-law. The other cannibal said: well then, just eat the VEGETABLES! Hey, hey boys....the in-laws are NOT going on this year's vacation...so cool it!
Either way, my friends....vacations can be fun or painful...it's YOUR call. Lighten up...it's been a LONG year for ALL of the family...so plan something
enjoyable and reasonable and paste those happy memories in your scrapbook of life and be glad for it.
On to aunt Martha who LOVES pizza. She told Festus to not cut up the pizza that he just brought home...because the doctor limits her to ONE piece only.
Festus slapped his forehead and ordered the second one for the rest of the family!!
Her latest statement to Cousin Clarence is: always go to your friend's funerals or they won't go to yours. Sometimes, Martha reminds me of 3 kinds of people...those who can count and those who can't. (Wait a minute...have my mathematical skills just left this planet?)
Stop the music....let's make an announcement that the Short Mountain Trading Post is now open on Friday and Saturday every week. Remember to come
and visit us from 11 AM to 5 M on those days. Sooo much to see and enjoy. Fantastic crafts and unique items for your enjoyment and purchases!!
Remember the Animal Coalition Fund Raiser on June 4th in Woodbury. It is such a worthwhile cause and I know that we ALL want our little furry friends to be rescued and placed in loving homes.
I gotta run for now....Happy Memorial Day and Be Safe. Take care of your family and help your neighbors and friends. Give out happy smiles and remember this: it's the early bird that gets the worm, but the second mouse who gets the cheese!!!!!