LARRY WOODY, Guest Columnist
Tuesday, May 15, 2012 3:58 am

Talk about truth in advertising.

There's a burger joint in Vegas called the "Heart Attack Grill" that specializes in giant, artery-clogging burgers, fries and shakes.

Two patrons have suffered heart attacks while scarfing down the calorie-oozing chow.

The latest victim/diner was a lady who was halfway through something called a "Double Bypass Burger" when she suddenly slumped to the floor. Check please.

Thankfully she was OK, as was an earlier customer who suffered a clogged drain midway through his monster meal.

As I read the story, I pondered several questions:

Is the desert tray is a hospital gurney?

At the end of the meal does the diner call for the check or a defibrillator?

Does a satisfied customer extend compliments to the chef or the paramedic?

If the diner fails to survive the meal, who's responsible for tipping the waiter?

I saw the owner of the Heart Attack Grill being, well, grilled, by a TV reporter. She was incensed that he would serve such unwholesome cuisine to the public. Over her shoulder was a sign that said, "Caution! This Establishment is Bad for Your Health!"

Is someone being misled if they order something called a "Double Bypass Burger" and "Flat-liner Fries?" (If you're REALLY hungry there's a "Quadruple Bypass Burger.")

As a special promotion, anyone over 350 pounds eats free.

Obviously the proprietor is poking fun of the Food Police – finding mirth in girth -- while getting some free advertising and exposure for his burger business.

But it does raise an interesting point:

How much protection do we need from ourselves?

It's not as though we suddenly discovered – thanks to the Heart Attack Grill – that too much greasy, fatty food is not healthy, and that as a nation we're increasingly having trouble seeing our collective toes because of our expanding midriff Goodyear radials.

Aside from a few primitive tribes in the upper reaches of the Amazon (where the Happy Meal consists of a McMonkey and fries) surely everybody nowadays knows that too many trips through the Drive-Thru will add to the lard-o-meter.

It's one thing to be calorie-conscious; it's another matter to be constantly beat over the head with a greasy spatula by the Food Cops.

 We get it: junk food isn't healthy.

But unlike, say, smoking, at least eating junk food harms only the individual who chooses to consume it. (Well, so far; at some point we may learn that inhaling second-hand burger fumes can put on unwanted pounds.)

I suppose an argument could be made that overweight folks are a load on society because of their increased propensity for medical problems and over-crowded elevators, but that starts us wheezing up an extremely greasy slope regarding personal choices.

As far as I'm concerned, what consenting adults choose for chow is up to them.

If someone wants to eat at a risky restaurant with a name like the "Heart Attack Grill" – where fine dining might become final dining – that's up to them.

Pass the gravy and bon appetite.

At least they don't have to worry about choking to death on a bean sprout.