Woody: Which is dumber?
Tuesday, December 9, 2014 10:58 am By LARRY WOODY Did you know that in Tennessee it's illegal to harm or harass a Bigfoot -- even though the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency insists there is no such critter? If you think our Bigfoot-protection law is wacky, check out some regulations on the books in other states: In Michigan it's illegal to "willfully annoy another person." Michigan also bans riding horses on sidewalks. In California you're not allowed to shoot at any kind of game animal from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. It's also illegal to drive a car while wearing a house coat if you're a woman. In Florida women can be arrested for falling asleep under a hair drier, and an unmarried woman can't parachute on Sundays. Also in Florida, if an elephant is tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. The Sunshine State bans singing in public while wearing a swimsuit, and fooling around with a porcupine. In Texas you can't shoot buffalo from a second-story hotel or milk another person's cow. In Mississippi it's illegal to transport a live possum across state lines. Mississippi also outlaws dynamiting carp. In Kansas you're not allowed to bring an armadillo into a public restroom. In Washington pigeons aren't permitted to roller-skate on Sunday. In North Dakota it's against the law to name a goat Elmer. In Pennsylvania it's illegal to goose a schoolteacher. In Rhode Island bartenders aren't allowed to serve penguins. In Delaware a barbershop quartet can't sing in the shower. In Georgia it's illegal for anyone nicknamed Orca to appear on a public beach wearing Spandex. Also in Georgia midgets aren't allowed to wrestle at a State Fair. In Nebraska you can't rope pigs from a moving vehicle. Nebraska also disallows feeding pigeons popcorn. In Idaho it's against the law to glue a live duck to a hat. Likewise in Idaho, regulations prohibit playing a harmonica around beavers during mating season. In Ohio it's illegal to get a fish drunk. Alabama prohibits wearing a fake mustache that makes people laugh in church. In New Mexico if a lizard runs up your britches leg, you can't remove it in public. In Arizona it's illegal to tip a saxophone player more than a quarter. In Kentucky the law prohibits watching the Lawrence Welk Show while eating prunes. Maine has a law against grandmothers riding bareback. Maine also prohibits tickling a dwarf. In Arkansas it's illegal to splash eggnog on a government official. Arkansas prohibits nude square dancing and chewing tobacco while water skiing. Wisconsin has a rule against teasing a badger. Missouri bans plucking chickens without a permit. In New Jersey it's against the law to shave a gopher or force a tree-toad to tap dance. Virginia doesn't allow a cow to sit in the front seat of a moving vehicle.
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