Woody: Which is dumber?
Tuesday, December 9, 2014 10:58 am
By LARRY WOODY
Did you know that in Tennessee it's illegal to harm or harass a Bigfoot -- even though the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency insists there is no such critter?
If you think our Bigfoot-protection law is wacky, check out some regulations on the books in other states:
In Michigan it's illegal to "willfully annoy another person."
Michigan also bans riding horses on sidewalks.
In California you're not allowed to shoot at any kind of game animal from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. It's also illegal to drive a car while wearing a house coat if you're a woman.
In Florida women can be arrested for falling asleep under a hair drier, and an unmarried woman can't parachute on Sundays.
Also in Florida, if an elephant is tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
The Sunshine State bans singing in public while wearing a swimsuit, and fooling around with a porcupine.
In Texas you can't shoot buffalo from a second-story hotel or milk another person's cow.
In Mississippi it's illegal to transport a live possum across state lines.
Mississippi also outlaws dynamiting carp.
In Kansas you're not allowed to bring an armadillo into a public restroom.
In Washington pigeons aren't permitted to roller-skate on Sunday.
In North Dakota it's against the law to name a goat Elmer.
In Pennsylvania it's illegal to goose a schoolteacher.
In Rhode Island bartenders aren't allowed to serve penguins.
In Delaware a barbershop quartet can't sing in the shower.
In Georgia it's illegal for anyone nicknamed Orca to appear on a public beach wearing Spandex.
Also in Georgia midgets aren't allowed to wrestle at a State Fair.
In Nebraska you can't rope pigs from a moving vehicle.
Nebraska also disallows feeding pigeons popcorn.
In Idaho it's against the law to glue a live duck to a hat.
Likewise in Idaho, regulations prohibit playing a harmonica around beavers during mating season.
In Ohio it's illegal to get a fish drunk.
Alabama prohibits wearing a fake mustache that makes people laugh in church.
In New Mexico if a lizard runs up your britches leg, you can't remove it in public.
In Arizona it's illegal to tip a saxophone player more than a quarter.
In Kentucky the law prohibits watching the Lawrence Welk Show while eating prunes.
Maine has a law against grandmothers riding bareback.
Maine also prohibits tickling a dwarf.
In Arkansas it's illegal to splash eggnog on a government official.
Arkansas prohibits nude square dancing and chewing tobacco while water skiing.
Wisconsin has a rule against teasing a badger.
Missouri bans plucking chickens without a permit.
In New Jersey it's against the law to shave a gopher or force a tree-toad to tap dance.
Virginia doesn't allow a cow to sit in the front seat of a moving vehicle.