Woody: Which is dumber?

By LARRY WOODY

Did you know that in Tennessee it's illegal to harm or harass a Bigfoot -- even though the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency insists there is no such critter?

If you think our Bigfoot-protection law is wacky, check out some regulations on the books in other states:
In Alabama it's against the law to play dominoes on Sunday.

In Michigan it's illegal to "willfully annoy another person."

Michigan also bans riding horses on sidewalks.

In California you're not allowed to shoot at any kind of game animal from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. It's also illegal to drive a car while wearing a house coat if you're a woman.

In Florida women can be arrested for falling asleep under a hair drier, and an unmarried woman can't parachute on Sundays.

Also in Florida, if an elephant is tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

The Sunshine State bans singing in public while wearing a swimsuit, and fooling around with a porcupine.

In Texas you can't shoot buffalo from a second-story hotel or milk another person's cow.

In Mississippi it's illegal to transport a live possum across state lines.

Mississippi also outlaws dynamiting carp.

In Kansas you're not allowed to bring an armadillo into a public restroom.

In Washington pigeons aren't permitted to roller-skate on Sunday.

In North Dakota it's against the law to name a goat Elmer.

In Pennsylvania it's illegal to goose a schoolteacher.

In Rhode Island bartenders aren't allowed to serve penguins.

In Delaware a barbershop quartet can't sing in the shower.

In Georgia it's illegal for anyone nicknamed Orca to appear on a public beach wearing Spandex.

Also in Georgia midgets aren't allowed to wrestle at a State Fair.

In Nebraska you can't rope pigs from a moving vehicle.

Nebraska also disallows feeding pigeons popcorn.

In Idaho it's against the law to glue a live duck to a hat.

Likewise in Idaho, regulations prohibit playing a harmonica around beavers during mating season.

In Ohio it's illegal to get a fish drunk.

Alabama prohibits wearing a fake mustache that makes people laugh in church.

In New Mexico if a lizard runs up your britches leg, you can't remove it in public.

In Arizona it's illegal to tip a saxophone player more than a quarter.

In Kentucky the law prohibits watching the Lawrence Welk Show while eating prunes.

Maine has a law against grandmothers riding bareback.

Maine also prohibits tickling a dwarf.

In Arkansas it's illegal to splash eggnog on a government official.

Arkansas prohibits nude square dancing and chewing tobacco while water skiing.

Wisconsin has a rule against teasing a badger.

Missouri bans plucking chickens without a permit.

In New Jersey it's against the law to shave a gopher or force a tree-toad to tap dance.

Virginia doesn't allow a cow to sit in the front seat of a moving vehicle.