Woody: Tales of pricetag terror
Tuesday, October 20, 2015 2:27 pm
By LARRY WOODY
The other day I saw an advertisement for Halloween costumes and it scared the daylights out of me.
It was the price tags on the costumes. Talk about scary.
My first car cost less than you'd have to spend to dress like Dracula or the Mummy.
(I must admit, it would be interesting to see the missus decked out as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, but I doubt that she'd go for it.)
The survey even projects the most popular costumes. For adults its' a witch,,,for kiddies it's a Princess, an animal or Spider Man...for pets it's a pumpkin or hot dog.
When I was a kid, Halloween was simpler. Like Charlie Brown, we'd just throw an old sheet over our head (or a new sheet if our mom wasn't on guard) and go trick-or-treating as a ghost.
Our dog would go as dog.
One year my boyhood buddy Booger Johnson got creative. He painted his face green, glued a stem on his head, and went as a cumquat.
Miss Wigglebottom was ahead of her time. No. 10 on the list of "popular adult costumes for females" is wench/tart/vixen. That'll melt your candy.
"Better not," said the guy. "My wife might find out."
Back to Halloween:
Anybody who'd give a kid candied corn deserves to have their outhouse tipped over.
Nowadays kiddies revel in an orgy of sugary goodies, which is why Halloween is the favorite holiday of the American Dental Association.
But Halloween's still fun, and come All Hallows Eve we'll have a jack-o-lantern squatting on the porch, its flicking glow serving as a beacon for little neighborhood spooks as they scamper and scurry about.
I'll wait patiently, like Linus in the pumpkin patch. This could be the Halloween that Elvira, Mistress of the Night, finally rings my doorbell.